It’s Okay To Need A Break From Your Kid

One of the downsides to having intelligent kids is that they are always on. A hundred questions a minute, they are simultaneously easy and difficult to entertain, and they always want an audience for their latest feat.

I used to think that my goal was to give my children as much patience as I had to give, and in some ways it still is, but I have changed my outlook on parenting. 

I feel absolutely no guilt over saying I need breaks from my kids. I don’t wait until I am burning out before forcing a break, I make sure that within our daily schedule, there is time set aside for a nap/ quiet time and I make a point of kicking my kids outside daily (they have to entertain themselves and I get a breather to take care of the house). 

I used to watch my daughter interact with teachers at the library or preschool and marvel at how well-behaved she was for them, and how patient they were with her. It has crossed my mind that if I were able to give my kids that level of patience,  I would see more of the side they present to authority figures out in the world.

But the patience teachers give our children is a false standard to try and live up to. Firstly, it is their job to hold onto that patience and kindness. Secondly, those teachers have our kids for a set amount of time and then they get to be done with them for the day. Parenting doesn’t have a set amount of hours and it’s even more full on when you’re a stay-at-home parent. 

Our children don’t need a false sense of patience from us. That is an unrealistic expectation that the gentle parenting movement has given us. Our children need to see us regulate all of our emotions rather than shoving them down, and they need to see what healthy boundaries look like. 

I’ve got two kids, a four and half year old and an almost two year old. I know that by the time most kids have hit four, parents have dissolved their naps but both of mine are still going strong. My four year old  has the option to not sleep if she chooses, but she knows that she won’t have any kind of sweet drink with her dinner if she does not take a nap (no need for extra sugar to make it more difficult to go to bed early). Either way, whether she is sleeping or not, she goes into her room for a nap or quiet time for at least an hour and a half every day around 2:00. She’s got toys in her room and most of the time she’ll lay with her cat or read books in her bed.

That quiet time is for my sanity, not necessarily hers.

I know enough about myself that if I want to give my kids my best in the afternoons, I need a solid break from them. I want to reset the house, reset myself, and the most important thing for me is that I get to sit down and drink a cup of coffee by myself.

We are all too much sometimes for other people and other people are sometimes too much for us. Having healthy boundaries surrounding alone time, kids needing to entertain themselves, and taking space when it’s needed are lessons that all children should be learning. 

So if you have already eliminated your child’s nap, it’s not too late to add in a quiet time. If you feel like you are always having to entertain your child, start setting expectations for them to entertain themselves. Structure your day with your child to involve breaks and downtime for both of you. 

It is okay to need a break from your child.  You are not alone in this need and it does not make you any less of a good parent.